1. First, it’s pronounced LOSS-VAYGUS. It doesn’t matter how they say it in other places.
Nevada is not ne voh dah….its ne vA dah
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Las Vegas has it’s own set of traffic rules. There’s no book about them. All you can do is get in your car and hope you survive to learn them.
Hint: 10 mph over posted is a good rule of thumb, but see Rule 8.
3. All directions start with, “Go down 95…’cause you don’t want to get on I-15.”
4. Las Vegas Blvd, Charleston Blvd and Torrey Pines have no beginning and no end.
5. It’s impossible to go around a block and wind up on the same street that you started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls this a “scenic drive”.
6. The 8:00 am rush hour is from 4:30am to 11:30am. The 5:00pm rush hour is from 11:30am to 10:15 pm. Friday’s rush hour starts on Thursday morning and ends sometime late Sunday night.
7. If you actually stop at a yellow light, then you cannot possibly be from Las Vegas. You may only apply your brakes when the end of a yellow light and the beginning of the red light create a “pumpkin-orange” hue.
8. For the most part, you can do anything you want, as long as it isn’t in a school zone.
9. Just remember that Camino Al Norte is Martin Luther King Blvd., Boulder Highway is Fremont Street, Eastern Ave is 25th Street or Civic Center Drive, Desert Inn is Lamb Blvd. Spring Mountain/Sands/Twain are all the same street, as is Fort Apache/Rampart/Durango. Don’t try to figure it out. Just accept it. If you questin the intelligence behind this naming convention, people will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you.
10. Henderson is the only place in the world where THREE “parallel” streets intersect at one traffic light. That would be the 4-way of Green Valley Parkway/Eastern Avenue/Maryland Parkway. For laughs ask your middle school Geometry teacher to try to explain it.
11. Rainbow Blvd has THREE exits from the 95, plus TWO intersections at Spring Valley. This just makes giving driving directions to newbie’s more entertaining.
There is also a Lake Mead “Drive” and a Lake Mead “Boulevard” and both run east/west but are 30 miles a part. You have to be specific when you say “the corner of Lake Mead and……..” Again this is just another way to harass the 5000 newcomers every month.
12. Many major roads just end abruptly in somebody’s garage, a Home Depot, a Casino or McCarran International Airport Runways and start again after the interruption. That was done to encourage you to “see the sights” and meet new people. For fun, just try to take Harmon Avenue from Rainbow to Nellis.
13. If moisture at hand is determined to be rain and not sweat, all traffic must immediately cease. Ditto for daylight savings time, girl applying eye-shadow across the street, or a flat tire 3 lanes over. Do not attempt to access any road after an apocalyptic event like snow, blowing dust, or a 3-day weekend.
(People are in a state of shock)
14. Once a year when it rains, the Las Vegas wash and the City of Las Vegas are one.
15. The wind blows every day and it is impossible to live in Las Vegas without some kind of allergy drug.
16. Construction on I-15 and US 95 is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment. I-215 will never be completed. Get used to it!
17. Stay away from the corner of Nellis and Las Vegas Blvd if you do not like the thought of being in a remake of the movie “Top Gun.”
18. Finally, yes, we all know that man in a teddy and a tiara onFremont Street. His name is Leslie and he probably makes more money than you do.